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Rough Water Days
by Jackie Woods
Did you ever have a day that made you a little queasy because the going was so rough? Since that type of day makes my emotions roll, I call those rough water days. Sometimes I can calm the waters quickly and other times it takes the support of nature holding me while I take a long walk and look within.
Recently, I had one of those days. When the day started, it looked like I might be able to walk on water instead of being swallowed up by it. It was an ordinary day with an ordinary schedule. However, my internal fates must have decided to play havoc with my ordinary schedule. I was either rushed or late to every event. Everyone I met was wearing their most obnoxious personality trait. I had several uninvited visitors, and once I finally got to bed, I couldn’t sleep.
My thought the next morning was, “I am going to make this a better day.” But following that thought was, “But you know that it will only be a better day if you dispense with the part of you that created the rough waters.” So instead of trying to handle the events and the people better, I took some alone time and looked at which part of my internal self was trying to stay afloat emotionally.
My husband had been ill and it had been emotionally difficult to not feel what he was feeling. And while I thought I was keeping my head above water, so to speak, I was really just putting on a happy front while I was frustrated that the structures we were using to support his healing weren’t doing an efficient job. So my unconscious mind started believing that structures aren’t as supportive or effective as they should be. Thus, I created all my structures falling apart.
I changed my mental picture of structures and the events as well as my troubled emotional waters smoothed out. Instead of seeing structures as “fixes,” I began to see each activity as an opportunity to love the heart energy that was appropriate for the event. In other words, I calmed the waters before I tried to walk on them.